Where have I been?

Working, running, or sleeping.

Sorry.

In addition, this happened just the other day -

That averages out to about 6000 miles a year, which really isn't that far if you think about it. 

Well...

I am going to McDonalds. That is all.

The Times, They are A-changin'

Things are moving along. The semester is coming to a close and the residence halls are closing up shop. I don't know about you all, but I don't particularly like changes. They make me feel weird and uncomfortable. I spend most of today and will spend most of the next few days checking out residents, which only repeatedly shoves in my face that it's all over.

Don't get me wrong - I'm going to love my summer....it's going to be great. I'll be working at Chick-Fil-A hopefully about 40 hours a week.

Where I'm spending my summer.

Oh. And here too.

Yeah. Those two pictures, plus Dungeons and Dragons are going to be most of my summer. It's hopefully going to be wonderful.

Interesting how I revert to only talking about things that I am comfortable and familiar with. It makes this blogging thing a whole lot more therapeutic.

Welp. Here's to changes. Good changes. Forward moving changes. May the Lord take me where he sees fit.

Rake and Hoes.

Actually, more accurately rakes and pitchforks, but I wanted to grab your attention.

Anyway, my family has and has had a garden on and off throughout my childhood. It used to be a thing we would do when I was a kid -- all go out Saturday evening and work in the garden.

Gardens mean pitchforks.

You know that trick people would do, where they would step on a rake, pop it up and grab it, so the didn't have to bend down for it? Well, one day I decided that I wanted to try this. But with a pitchfork instead of a rake. Instead of stepping on it, I decided to kick it (coordination FTW.)

 Did I mention I am almost always barefooted?

The results were basically as follows:

Pretty much all I remember though was my dad carrying my screaming self inside, and then my mom pouring hydrogen peroxide in a gaping hole between my big toe and my second toe. Sadly, there is no scar so I do not remember if this was my left foot or my right foot. I kinda wish my parents had taken pictures.

Oh well.

It was pretty cool. And I still play with pitchforks. I just don't kick them.

EDIT: This happened when I was somewhere about 8 years old. Not recently. I had some people making fun of me because they thought this happened recently. Don't hate.

An Affront To Nature

Our society is being attacked from all sides by a horrifying and utterly revolting practice, penetrating our standard ways of life. This issue is by no means a new or emerging behavior, but it has existed from classical philosophers, such as Aristotle who engaged in early forms of this sickening deed and has continued to spread like a plague to the artists of the world, with reports that the great Leonardo DaVinci tarnished his splendid reputation with this horrifying practice. It then grew and budded to famous members of the modern public spotlight such as Ian McKellen, and outright flagrant supporters of this blighted behavior such as Ellen DeGeneres. While the popular proponents propel this practice toward nationwide acceptance, those who disagree with the behavior lack the meat to stand up against it. Because of this silence of the issue’s antagonists, this lifestyle is sweeping the nation – infecting individuals and butchering families as it runs its course – and this disgusting way of thinking is destroying the way we look at the world.

Not only does this affect those disgusting individuals that behave in such unnatural ways, but it is massacring innocent friendships and families. Some individuals are constrained and penned in by parents engaging in this behavior, being raised with a dreadfully distorted view of nature and reality. Parents, raised in standard and fertile environments, no longer look upon their children as their own offspring, but rather as foul twistings of standard behavior, sickening deviations from the norm.  Friends, afraid of being perceived as judgmental, are being made uncomfortable and are growing apart, afraid of offending those they loved before they chose to behave in this dreadful way.

Yes, this is a choice. Individuals claim this is a healthy style of living, but it is entirely unnatural. To those people, we should rise against as a community and proclaim “Liar!” There is no evidence to support this as a healthy decision, except for the empty claims of those who became so open minded their brains fell out.

One of the worst aspects of this matter is those who are promoting this style of living among the youth, with some reports of as great as a 50% percent growth among college students during the 2005-2006 school year. Up to half of today’s young public is engaging in this behavior. Half of the young individuals have chosen this revolting path for their lives, and they’re bringing our nation with them.

The spread of this issue isn’t only affecting the individuals practicing it, but is wearing off on innocent individuals who are in no way associated with the issue. From our grocery stores to our church dinners, our lives are being profoundly affected, for the worse. Our standard ways of living are being pushed off the market by these revolting persons that refuse to live a normal life -- they must stand out from the natural fabric of the world and society in an effort to gain attention or to infuriate those of us who simply want to live an unobstructed, happy life.

It is becoming very clear, as an estimated 7%-12% of the world’s population is engaging in these sickening actions that those of us who stand against it need to put our collective foot down in an effort to stop this practice. This rampant acceptance of their behavior has to stop.

Vegetarianism must come to an end.

            

Thank you! We've finally reached 3 followers!

Thank you for following me on Blogger! I genuinely appreciate all the support you've given me. Your faithful readership always give me encouragement!

I hope you've enjoyed what I've had to say, and I hope to continue to provide you all with up-to-date and relevant information.

Thank you all!

Everyone...Meet Fredrico!

He's a suave individual who enjoys long walks on the beach and conversing lightly with the less attractive women at parties.

If you haven't met Fredrico yet, you can experience his inception here.

Genesis 1:3a

"And God said, "Let there be light,"

Genesis 1:1-2

"In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. Now the earth was formless and empty, darkness was over the surface of the deep, and the Spirit of God was hovering over the waters."

That bum really needs to clean up his act...

I really could get used to this while "writing for the sake of writing" thing. I'm tired of not writing for fun funk I've been it. It's starting to get back to the point where I have to write - even if I don't have much to say, I end up saying more than I expected.

Today I came up with some great imagery that made me chuckle. I was describing some hippies that live in front of Publix to Cassidy today, and I told her they look like bums that let themselves go. Everyone has their own brand of humor, so she didn't really find it as funny as I did, but then again she just LOVES Damn You, Auto Correct, and I don't find it funny at all. So I guess we're fair.

Bums that let themselves go! It's so funny!

Tea and Elephants

I was hanging out with my friends while they were studying last night. Naturally I wasn't doing any studying (no finals for me!) and was instead working on some digital projects that I'm never going to finish.

Anyway, I was working on an elephant wallpaper that has been in the works for about half a semester. I may post about my elephant collection at some point, but for now all you need to know is that I like them.

Anyway, we were at a hookah bar across the street from campus because they have really good tea, and I was working on this: (Still not done. I don't really like it yet.)

It used to be that when I looked at that shape I saw a simplistic elephant ear. Too bad I asked for the waitress's opinion. Turns out she's some art student or something. I didn't tell her what it was, because I wanted to make sure she saw an elephant. 

She didn't.

She told me she saw a guy, and provided me with an excellent sketch of Mr. Cool-guy Elephantface, which I have oh-so-carefully reproduced in MS paint, because my scanner is broken. Anyway, her sketch looked kinda like this, except exponentially better, and hers took her about 15 seconds while mine took me about 15 minutes.

I can no longer not see this friendly little fellow in my wallpaper.

Moral: Don't ask waitresses for their opinions of your art.

Web Comics, Anyone?

I don't know about any of y'all, but I love web comics, and there are a few that I follow quite regularly - which until recently was kind of a pain. I had been all over - searching far and wide for a good aggregator/webcomic reader, and then finally, I found one. It's called Yawr (Yet Another Webcomic Reader) and is pretty much what I was looking for. It's small, so I can keep it on my pen drive on my keychain, and does what I need it to. The only problem I've come across, is that it might be a little difficult for some people to figure out. The learning curve is a little steep. (I almost spelled learning as "lurning" because I was thinking about the word "curve." Embarrasing.)

It comes with a library of 450 or so comics already in it, but there's a little tool that comes with it that makes adding more a total breeze, and it'll keep track of where you are in your comic, so you don't have to worry about losing track if you fall down on the job when it comes to reading them for a little while.

It's not the prettiest thing in the world, but it gets the job done.

Go ahead and check it out if you have any interest in web comics. Or even if you don't. You never know when you might find something that tickles your fancy.

EDIT: It is a little laggy. But that may be because I'm running it off a flash drive.

Addendum:

I'm listening to Coldplay. I never listen to Coldplay.

Campbell's? Why not Swanson's?

This has been mulling over in my mind for a while now. I need to write more. Perhaps I should start a blog? Perhaps not? Either way it's too late now. Honestly, I don't really have anything interesting to say. Don't bother reading.

Sometimes I set my alarm an hour or so earlier than I need to get up. Then when it goes off, I hit the snooze button and lay back down. I then have nine minutes to lay back down and fall back asleep before it goes off again. For some reason, that is just the amount of time I need to have a dream. Basically, I'm trying to cause dreams.

Usually this works quite well, and I have some pretty interesting dreams. I may share some if I have any particularly interesting ones.

I feel bad leaving you there. It seems like my first post should include something profound - so I guess I'll leave you with a poem I wrote for a poetry class a few semesters ago. I'm a fan of it, so I don't care what you think.

Instruction Manual on Pest Removal

The daybreak foretells of another fiery evening

of fireworks picked up at the large tent on the

corner of Colonial and Orange Blossom Trail –

the one I always wanted to attack with a flamethrower

just to see the beauty of all the blasts going off at once.

It foretells of cheap wine from the ABC next door and

lawn chairs riding a wave of passion.

Free passion. Meaningless passion.

“I wish you knew my father” she cries

as she lights another and takes a drag.

The smoke fills the small kitchen of the

1940’s farmhouse which once stood alone,

but is now boxed in by other houses

like a child’s lunchbox in its cubby

on the first day of the first grade.

It seeps out the door, into the night,

never to be heard from again.

The man she speaks of, her father, was a fool –

I knew him well. He was always quarrelling with

children, trying to convince them that the clouds above

their heads are not, in fact, made of cotton candy,

but rather are parcels of convected hydrogen

dioxide raised and cooled moist adiabatically

until it condenses as a liquid or sublimates as a solid

with the purpose of balancing the globe’s uneven

energy distribution. Every time she talks about him

I try desperately to inform her that I know him,

but she wouldn’t hear of it.

“You never knew of him and you never will!”

she screams with such intensity it unseats

my spine and drops my stomach into my bowels.

She’s crazy too, I try to convince myself,

hoping I’m incapable of hallucinating

the mentally unsound. But of course

she’s still floating there above the foot

of my bed stroking my foot attached to

my body, continuing to murmur about “Daddy”.

I got sick of her babbling – it was really

starting to drive me nuts, so I decided to

take matters into my own hands

(or feet if you will)

getting up to go to the fridge to drink

some Swanson’s chicken broth, but all we

had was Campbell’s, so I dug into a nice

juicy tender chunk of childish wonder.

And finally, with a yawn, she was gone.